The Fantastic & Somewhat Troubling Adventures of Adam Joseph

Like Douglas Adams’, ‘Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy’, this book could very well evolve into an extended series of adventures following the experiences of the protagonist, Adam Joseph, and the many characters with whom he comes into contact. 

Humor and satire play a significant role in this book.  The Adventures is an episodic portrayal of a character who unwittingly travels through portals to various times and situations.  Adam Joseph is placed idiosyncratically in situations that must have been his normal life, only he has little idea of what that life actually is. His travel takes him both forwards and backwards in time, for the most part not following an established chronology.  The situations include his childhood, university years, and various and sundry situations including his emergence as a photon of light in the brain of another person.  There is a nuclear war, he travels to another planet, he is placed in an Assisted Living Facility, and in one adventure, he watches a film of himself acted out for his perusal.  He does not have an understanding of who he is or why this keeps happening and searches avidly, although largely in vain, for these answers.  There is romance, a meeting of bizarre aliens (the Gods of the Universe) in a great hall, and all the while Adam is trying to gain some perspective on who he really is and where he belongs.  His awareness begins in a university’s drama class, where his pen is busy taking notes.  After this plays out, he jumps through a portal, landing as a little boy.  The narrator is intrusive and demands to be made a character, and although humor plays a significant role, it is interspersed with stark and disquieting realities.

I am a big Douglas Adams fan, reading his books to my two boys when they were young.  His imagination and creativity mixed with incredible talent is what I aspire to.  This book appeals to all ages, containing a rich mixture of satire, humor, and dramatic circumstances. It brings the reader along on fantastic and imaginative adventures, while commenting on the human condition as well.  What is especially appealing is that the story is not over and could easily become a series of novels.  I have roughed out several other segments involving the protagonist, Adam Joseph, and the continuing journeys he will encounter. 

Excerpts from the book:

A. Here, Adam is back in university just before Christmas break. He goes to his favorite coffee shop, The Grotto, pen and pad in hand, to enjoy breakfast and do some quiet writing. Rhonda is a love gone sour, but though it is long over, her presence still haunts him:

The apparition of Rhonda kept watching as she always did, so Adam used manners, wiping off a drool of egg yolk before it ran down his chin.  It was at this very moment he saw Gayle leading a young man with unusually dark glasses to Adam’s table.
 “The goddam place is empty,” he thought, “and she knows I like to sit alone!”
He soon doused his questioning mind, threw a pail of cold water on the fire that had begun, when he realized that the guy was quite blind.  She wanted him to have company, to at least hear a friendly voice and was confident that Adam, the good boy he was, would be a welcoming soul; he wasn’t.

“This is meant to happen,” Adam reasoned, “he is more than a mortal, here to deliver some vital information that will change everything.” No information was forthcoming, however, and Adam, instead of saying hello and introducing himself, remained mute – after all, he reasoned,
“The guy thinks he’s alone, floating in a dark and infinite universe.”  The more he remained quiet the harder it became to begin the conversation until that option no longer existed as Adam was far too embarrassed and ashamed of himself,
“I mean, what would the guy think – that you’re too chicken shit to say anything, that you treat my condition like everyone else.”

The young man didn’t know where the food was on his plate, and after a few stabs at his eggs, he just picked up the plate and tilted it toward his mouth, chewing its contents accordingly.  The wraith of Rhonda watched in horror as much of the guy’s food was running down his face including competing rivers of egg yolk, one from the left corner of his mouth, and the other smack dab in the middle.  After all, there was nobody there to see him, so what did it matter?  Adam dared not move lest he be discovered.  All at once, as his partner for breakfast was groping for his coffee, Adam noticed the left lens of his opaque glasses enlarge revealing an entire world of darkness, a limitless enigma.  Adam leapt out of his chair, pad in hand, and, leaving the rest of his breakfast behind, stepped on top of the table and dove through the opening. 

B. In this scene, the Masters of the Universe meet in an ornate medieval hall complete with stained glass and intricate wood carvings, more resembling a huge castle. Here they ponder the fate of Adam Joseph:

The meeting came to order, with the representative elect, a four-eyed goat with a healthy white goatee stomping her long wooden staff on the floor.  The sound reverberated around the great hall.  She cleared her throat and let out in a long, shrill baaaa, saying, “We are here to discuss the lower lifeform known as Adam Joseph.  As per your wishes, he has been placed in various situations in an attempt to provoke a higher understanding of things we take for granted, like time.”
The irony of that statement was not lost on the audience, and those who had eyes rolled them demonstratively. They had already decided that time was a concept deeply flawed, that it didn’t exist at all – everything just ‘was’.
“But when provided an opportunity,” the goat continued, “he becomes caught up into one bad situation after another, eroding every chance he is given.  When introduced to a female able to carry out the transaction, he balks, the raven-haired woman, the freckled woman, the worker in the cafeteria.” 
“What about Baabaaraa?” blatted a sheepish voice from the back.  Curiously, this god, dressed in a gown of knit wool, actually resembled a sheep, with long fuzzy ears and eyes that pointed sideways, her snoutish face culminating in a wet black nose.
“You Mean Barbara?  You silly fool,” said the fly face meticulously preening himself with his two front appendages, “by then he was well beyond his reproductive years.”
The sheep stood up on all fours which actually made her look smaller as she had to maneuver out of the bench. She quit chewing her cud to deliver a discriminating and spirited retribution,
“Oh, why don’t you go find some dung to eat?”
Another voice piped in,
“He can’t; he’s on the lamb.” 
Uproarious laughter ensued initiating a thump of the moderator’s staff. Goat continued,
“Those he cannot have, it seems, are the ones to whom he is most attracted.  So, if I understand things correctly, we are here today to decide if he gets one more chance.” This was followed by another prolonged bleat.  If the audience had real voices, one would be able to hear distinct murmuring.

“We don’t need another paragon of the universe – it would just spell trouble,” said the entity with no nose. One of the balls of mucus, the red one, blurted, as he covered those around it with red droplets,
“We have to rid ourselves of these vermin.  They’re nothing but trouble.”

TYP167, Adam’s creator, spoke for the first time with considerable conviction,
“If we hope to survive, we have to, like it or not, keep promoting these lifeforms to ensure there will always be a donor womb for the lifeform known as Adam.  These ‘vermin’ are necessary variables in the experiment.  One day, you’ll be all dried up; is that what you want?  And you,” pointing to the first speaker, “don’t you want your invisible nose back?”

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